Whom The Fuck Knows?

I broke up with Wise One.... Now he wants to do this complete 180 and change who he is and how he acts. I DON'T WANT THAT!!!! I keep telling him that I'm just not happy, but according to him, that's no longer a sufficient reason to break up.... ? One thing that annoys me most is that he won't admit that he's thought of breaking up with me before.... He swears to God, whom he doesn't believe in, up and down, and he even started to say his mothers grave, and I almost hit him, but stopped him instead by putting my hand in his face. I know for a fact he has, and besides, at 8:05 am Monday morning his exact words were, "I'm not happy with this, and you have to change something, or I don't know if I can keep doing this. Decide if you want this or the relationship."

He also keeps asking me to marry him.... I don't want that either, and I keep telling him this, but he won't get it. I want to be happy, and I want him to be happy, like really happy, not the delusional happy he now speaks of. Yes he says he's happy and always has been, and everything he was angry with me about is trivial, and I can do whatever I please, and he wants whatever I want.... Where is the happy for him.... and for me?

I love him, and nothing will ever change that. I spent 5 years and 9 months, today actually is/was our anniversary, with him, on and off, and he has left his mark on my life. I want him to continue to be a part of my life, but not as my boyfriend, my future. I no longer wake up and look at him and think, "I want to marry that man someday....". I haven't for some time. I haven't been happy for some time.

I know I'm right in my decision, especially with giving him the second chance he begs for, where everything would be different and he would be different, and not the man I fell in love with, but the man who changed himself as a person to make me happy. NO! That doesn't sound right to me in any way shape or form. I have no intention of continuing a relationship that continuously goes through these scenarios where I change, and he doesn't like it, and I somehow ruin my life (which I refuse to let happen this time) {go me}, and we break it off, and get back together, and everything is happy and great and rinse and repeat. HELL NO!!!! I'm not going to keep hurting him, hurting myself, and those around me.

I hate that breakups have to hurt.... I hate to see his face in such miserable agony, knowing at the same time that I am the cause. But what can I do, I want happiness for the both of us, and I know it's not with each other.